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Source: Shutterstock So you’ve been single for a while now and you miss having a male companion at your side.Though you may be itching for a man to be a part of your life again, don’t rush into things.And when you do get into a relationship after divorce, even if the guy is faithful to you and is madly in love with you, you may not believe anything he says.This can happen because in the back of your mind, you'll have this ongoing chorus playing: "All men are just like my ex-husband. All men fall out of love and break up with you." It plays like a country song accompanied by an out-of-tune guitar.Given the power to vote on the relationship, the children cast "no" ballots and told their dad that, per his earlier declaration, Joanne couldn't move in until after they went away to school. Neuman is creator of a divorce therapy program for children mandated for use in family courts by many states.The story illustrates the confusion and anxiety children often feel when parents, eager for some measure of happiness and success in a new relationship, struggle over how much distance to place between their children and a newly developing romance."Seeing a parent date is an odd scenario for kids," says M. "It sometimes hammers home the message that our parents are never going to get back together."The power of the reunion fantasy is not to be underestimated, says Neuman, observing that some childrencling to the belief that their parents will get back together even after one parent has remarried.

"She's just a friend."Tears followed some time later, when the father asked his sons for "permission" to allow Joanne move in with him. C., author of Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way. remembers the conversation she had with her two sons following one of their regular visits with herex-husband.Both boys were brimming with news about Daddy's new friend, Joanne.Neuman recalls, "This 13-year-old kid once said to me, 'I feel, now that my parents are separated, that Idon't exist.'"While most children don't articulate their feelings so strongly -- in fact, most shrug or say "okay"if asked how they're coping with a parental split -- therapists who work with children of divorce agreethat divorce makes kids question who they are, where they came from, and where their lives are headed.That's not an argument for or against divorce, for or against dating.




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